It's atmospheric in the morning - low clouds lie in a few bands across the mountainous backdrop of the lake, some snow visible in the distance on the higher peaks, soon the sun comes up and the clouds overhead start to disappear, it's a perfect day.
And I realise that the weather's not going to let me off this skydive I've booked onto at 2pm which I'm trying hard not to think about it. At the drop zone I see some people landing gently which is a bit reassuring but the tiny plane is almost as terrifying as the thought of jumping out of it.
My tandem skydive instructor, Eugene, introduces himself, adjusts my harness and beckons me onto the plane. "Your one-way plane ride: 15 minutes up" he says, "and a bit quicker down". I'm already briefed and in a jump-suit. I'm facing backwards astride a bench trying to abstract myself from reality, he's behind ready to attach to me. We lean back as the plane takes off. The door is large and ominous just in front of me, rolling up to open. There's a couple of other tandem couples on the plane, I'm jumping first from 12 000 feet. It sounded high enough without the extra 3000.
Deep breaths. Eugene keeps checking I'm ok and as the plane takes off names lakes, rivers and mountains. I don't take it in. The scenery is beautiful and I keep looking out of the window- like out of a commercial plane, I'm used to that. It's hard to appreciate under the circumstances- this is the most insane thing I've ever done. He attaches our harnesses together and there's a comfort in the presence of a body close behind mine- carrying a parachute. "We're at 5000 feet" he tells me giving me a fleece hat to put on. Streuth, we're going higher? I inadvertently think about death, forceably redirect and tell myself to breathe deeply again. "I know how you feel"- Eugene's voice in my ear. "No you don't!" Maybe once, but you keep doing this you insane person.
"Ok, let's get ready" he says. Oh God, I'm not ready- how could I ever be? Goggles on, everything tightened, oh good I can focus on discomfort. "Move forward".
I don't remember the door opening or how I complied but I'm sitting on the edge. Head back, hips forward, legs under as instructed, just a thin sliver of connection with solidity. Don't look down- my own instruction. "Hold your harness"- I'd rather hold the plane....Before I can take stock of this ultimate in terror we're falling, my stomach's left behind and I'm screaming. But then.... it no longer feels like falling. The human body can only really measure acceleration and decelaration afterall and with no reference point it really doesn't feel like we're moving yet we're travelling downwards at 200km per hour!
There's the rush of wind, my mouth is open first from screaming, now from smiling, the wind is making my face distort (I'm thinking about G-force) but the air feels thin and hard to breathe. It's an exhilarating feeling, there's too much sensation for fear to have enough space. 45 seconds of freefall and the parachute's opened- another scream and a curse from me as we seem to jolt upwards at a rapid rate. Then, we're floating. Drifting and soaring, the rush of the freefall and the confusion of sensations behind as we spend the next 5 minutes circling down. But as the ground gets closer we seem to be accelerating and I'm afraid again, I'm trusting (there wasn't much choice) but still amazed that we land in the right spot, gently, upright.
What a strange thing to do. My world seems to have changed and my knees are a bit wobbly but everyone else is carrying on just the same. I just jumped out of a plane! (although jumped is exaggerated really. Was scooted out really as the person behind me to whom I was attached jumped is more accurate). I talk to a French girl who jumped after me- she said she'd been terrified as soon as I jumped and she had to watch me and 1 other before it was her turn. She understood too that the world wasn't quite the same anymore.
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